We had a perfect life, just you me and the kids in a house that we had finally bought. I had my dogs and my dream job, but the world was quickly changing and there was nothing we could do anymore but try to survive. There was a war heating up that was affecting jobs and the economy, but you had bought me a ring anyway so we could have the same one. "We're connected now babe," you had said, “we will always find each other no matter what."
We were planning to leave because we couldn't stay with everything on the brink of disaster, and it would all be lost soon. We could hear the guns and explosions in the distance quickly ap
On the edge of sober and insane.
The head says "I'm fine."
The heart is contained.
But the soul....
The soul screams "you will never heal."
Render the self useless so it don't have to feel.
Send in another bottle, drop another pill.
"You're trying to reach me.... STILL?"
Can't see through these bottleneck glasses
When they are piled on acid.
my dick is flacid and passive.
Aggressive reaction to all the compassion.
It rhymes with smishmorshion
As I lay in contortion
on the tiles in the cutting room floor
blood pours from the womb
like a slaughtered beast on display
I was once told that I don't know how to truly love.
I think it's true.
I know how to lust, want and desire...
and it burns like wildfire.
But to love someone to their face only lasts so long for me.
once I get my hands on it
"love" fades quicker than a rose in winter you see.
The passion I constantly crave becomes a game.
After the first time, skin never feels the same.
The first sign is the distance,
resistance,
And the lack of conversation after saying everything in existence.
Then I get angry and run away.
I prey and stray.
Was it the abuse?
Or is it just misuse.
I mean, beyond a combination of pheromones and hormones
that tell
Has anyone bothered to see the stars.....
Has anyone bothered to see how intimidating and majestic a forest is in the dark.....
Has anyone bothered to watch the clouds clear...
Or watch flowers bloom instead of complaining about the rain.....
None of us want to hurt...
But it makes the next time we fall just a little more exhilerating.
Eventually we learn to hit the ground running
with our arms stretched out,
screaming at the top of our lungs,
"HALLELUJAH"...
It just takes a few practice jumps.
Today, I was enlightened as I sunk so deep in my mind,
that the evening hung around a little longer than usual...
Just resting above the trees and barely out of reach of the coming day.
I saw beauty beyond the grind with my eyes closed and wings spread for the long haul.
I guess these chains aren't so heavy after all.
The crystal-clear vision of high hopes guides my way through this cloud of cancerous smoke. I contemplate my existence and crush the remainder of my cigarette in the ashtray. There is no purpose as to why I do anything anymore, but I still do it. Day in...day out, it's the same cycle; wash, rinse, spin, and spit out the dirt. There is no time to dry out and rest is no longer an option.
So I sit in this lounge, which defeats its very own purpose of being a lounge, thinking, sipping over what to write next. The furniture is uncomfortable, the lighting is cheap, and the bar is set way too high, figuratively and literally. The music is borrowed
Life As It Is....For Now by LadySydonis, literature
Literature
Life As It Is....For Now
In this life, there's some things I've learned along the way,
How to grow my own without gettin' in the way
I've learned that something happens deep inside of you,
if you take a chance to sit and just admire the view...
I've seen a lot of people try to make a difference in the world,
Then turn around and kill a man with out uttering a word.
I've held a hand and sang a song just to heal a soul,
I've knelt and prayed, cried and begged for God to fill some holes...
I've lied, cheated, stolen, and committed seven deadly sins,
I've repented every one of them but don't regret a thing.
I've saved some lives, I've saved my own
But a
There is a spacial sense drifting through paralells....
waves of consciousness stream through devided minds.
I am translucent and transending through their presence
with my reality becoming more misplaced among the detached.
In my mind i will wait for an answer to arise,
a moment of clarity not clouded by disgraced frailty.
I will await a sign of strength that will come
from the one who is broken in their
weakest moment.
His wounds will show not darkness and anguish
but the forgiveness and release that has been lost to us
over a period of time unfathomable.
I ain't listenin to what he said,
to what she said.
Even you said it's all me,
it's all in my head.
Sorry to say it fucked up
and it's not me.
It's hard to see
through your bullshit but,
I did it.
I figured it out through all the doubt.
I stuck my neck out
but my chest's pushed out,
My chin's pushed up
My Back's up and I got a back-up.
you bail on me,
I spit on you.
There's no seein it through,
when all you do is break your promises.
Indifferences.
you're two faced and lying,
around promiscuous.
so choke on this
fuckin bitch.
I ain't here for this shit.
I do me and that's all there is to it.
I'm leavin you to your devices,
We had a perfect life, just you me and the kids in a house that we had finally bought. I had my dogs and my dream job, but the world was quickly changing and there was nothing we could do anymore but try to survive. There was a war heating up that was affecting jobs and the economy, but you had bought me a ring anyway so we could have the same one. "We're connected now babe," you had said, “we will always find each other no matter what."
We were planning to leave because we couldn't stay with everything on the brink of disaster, and it would all be lost soon. We could hear the guns and explosions in the distance quickly ap
On the edge of sober and insane.
The head says "I'm fine."
The heart is contained.
But the soul....
The soul screams "you will never heal."
Render the self useless so it don't have to feel.
Send in another bottle, drop another pill.
"You're trying to reach me.... STILL?"
Can't see through these bottleneck glasses
When they are piled on acid.
my dick is flacid and passive.
Aggressive reaction to all the compassion.
It rhymes with smishmorshion
As I lay in contortion
on the tiles in the cutting room floor
blood pours from the womb
like a slaughtered beast on display
I was once told that I don't know how to truly love.
I think it's true.
I know how to lust, want and desire...
and it burns like wildfire.
But to love someone to their face only lasts so long for me.
once I get my hands on it
"love" fades quicker than a rose in winter you see.
The passion I constantly crave becomes a game.
After the first time, skin never feels the same.
The first sign is the distance,
resistance,
And the lack of conversation after saying everything in existence.
Then I get angry and run away.
I prey and stray.
Was it the abuse?
Or is it just misuse.
I mean, beyond a combination of pheromones and hormones
that tell
Has anyone bothered to see the stars.....
Has anyone bothered to see how intimidating and majestic a forest is in the dark.....
Has anyone bothered to watch the clouds clear...
Or watch flowers bloom instead of complaining about the rain.....
None of us want to hurt...
But it makes the next time we fall just a little more exhilerating.
Eventually we learn to hit the ground running
with our arms stretched out,
screaming at the top of our lungs,
"HALLELUJAH"...
It just takes a few practice jumps.
Today, I was enlightened as I sunk so deep in my mind,
that the evening hung around a little longer than usual...
Just resting above the trees and barely out of reach of the coming day.
I saw beauty beyond the grind with my eyes closed and wings spread for the long haul.
I guess these chains aren't so heavy after all.
I am a cartoon non-hero always looking back at the things I've done.
Just wasting away, staring at the blueprints of my life,
trying to change without destroying the foundation of past episodes.
I always wanted to repent for the person I was,
(That poor little bird never had a chance)
without falling victim to the rejection and scorn of the Higher Power.
It holds the eraser.
I always wanted to push the big red button.
The one that will drop anvils on my head to stop being
The cartoon non-hero who's plans are foiled
By life's antics every single time.
In this world there are
Bastards who don’t care,
Like us.
And yet, I do care.
Not about you or me,
But them
What they do to us....
They burn and destroy.
Burn us!
Destroy us!
We will stand
We will stand alone together.
There is no you.
There is no me.
WE will have no mercy on them
when they have no mercy on us.....
US.
Together we stand...
Alone
Forget what they told you,
You can't turn lead into gold.
For everything that is done,
At least two souls are sold
Human nature
Is quite mundane,
And the lifestyles led
Are quite profane.
So if ever you decide
To stop living this lie,
All you have to do
Is find a hole in which to die,
Because everyone knows
That this so called reality
Is entirely based
On deceptive immorality.
The crystal-clear vision of high hopes guides my way through this cloud of cancerous smoke. I contemplate my existence and crush the remainder of my cigarette in the ashtray. There is no purpose as to why I do anything anymore, but I still do it. Day in...day out, it's the same cycle; wash, rinse, spin, and spit out the dirt. There is no time to dry out and rest is no longer an option.
So I sit in this lounge, which defeats its very own purpose of being a lounge, thinking, sipping over what to write next. The furniture is uncomfortable, the lighting is cheap, and the bar is set way too high, figuratively and literally. The music is borrowed
cigarette smoke
and
alcohol
the fumes
embedding
in the wall
cocaine lines
in bathroom
stalls:
our generation,
we have it all
misguided teens,
with dying dreams
(poured down the drain
by languid veins)
the clinking of glasses
and racing hearts,
we cannot stop
what we did start
it's all an escape- a sick paradox:
we're running
from ourselves.
This pulse of mine,
Such a sickening tempo.
The beating of
My hideous heart-
Withered and frozen
From eons of icy silence.
The roots that leech
The essence from my veins
Bloom with bluest flowers
Dancing freely under the moon.
As they sway in the wind
Of every barren winter night,
They whisper to Nature's ears
My story, now resting within the earth
My lifebreath gifted solely to the sky
And stolen from my faded lips.
Understand that there's a beginning to understanding. Not all of us are awake.
I'm understanding that many of us focus so hard on finding what we want in others and, sleepily, mistake that for finding what we need in ourselves.
I'm not at peace while surrounded by outside voices. Especially those belonging to people who take away from my 'self'.
The only way to find our 'selves' is to be without influence, to be alone.
And in order to find what I look for, I walk away.
To be alone is not to be lonely. To be circled by misinformation, expectation and judgement is not a part of life, it's what we have come to passively accept.
We don't